Even after Jackson was born, I went back to work, with the idea that I would be the working mom. Once we found out we were having twins, the game totally changed. How could I go back to work and afford daycare for THREE kids? My co-workers were pretty certain I wouldn't be returning after maternity leave, although I was sure Jesse and I would figure something out. I never pictured myself as the stay at home mom.
Never.
Breadwinner? Sure!
Working mom? I'm on it!
Stay at home mom? You must be crazy.
I had a chat with a friend last month, right before Easter, I think, and it got me thinking about working moms. I asked her how her job was going and I was secretly hoping she would say it's fabulous so I could live vicariously through her. To my surprise, she said, "It's okay, but I'm quitting in 2 weeks".
"Wait... What?"
She said that she honestly isn't making that much money once you factor in daycare and gas. Plus, her schedule is crazy because she has to get the kids up early, which isn't easy, and rush them to daycare in order to get to work on time. In the evenings, there's hardly any time for playing or relaxing with the kids because you have to feed them, bathe them and get them to bed at a reasonable time. On top of that, she's exhausted.
Now my wheels are turning.... working mom vs stay at home mom.... After examining my own life, I was certain the working mom path would be way more exciting and fulfilling. The twins start pre-K next year, so I will have a little more free time in the fall. I considered a part time job and then maybe branching out full time once all three kids were in elementary school. I have dreamed of this ever since the twins started walking! Finally! Back to work!
Confession: I complain... a lot! I complain how much the kids nag me all day all the time (have you read any of my previous posts???) I complain about never having time for myself. I complain about have little interaction with adults. I'm always complaining to my husband about our money situation. For 4 years, I have longed to contribute financially to the household consistently; Not just a couple photography jobs a month. A steady weekly or bi-weekly paycheck. However, I haven't seriously considered what I would be giving up once I got back in the workforce. Missing milestones, school events, or just the every day little victories the kids achieve. Now I'm confused. Which path should I take?
On the contrary, I can't imagine it's a walk in the park for working moms. I'm sure it's struggle to balance work life and home life, especially if you are in a job you love or a job you need. Dealing with daycare, drama on the job and having to miss work if a child gets sick. At the end of the day, each mom has to make the choice to do whatever is best for her family, whether that means working outside of the home, having her own business, or staying home.
If the shoe was on the other foot, and I was working, I would probably be wishing I could stay at home. I guess that's the whole "the grass is greener on the other side" syndrome. A wise person once said (or maybe it was Justin Bieber) "the grass is greener where you water it". Some days (weeks) are tough with a traveling husband, a seven year old, twins, homeschool, laundry etc. However, God gave us these kids and I'm beyond blessed to be able to stay home with them and to be apart of the everyday little things. I may not have a brand new van or a designer handbag, and I'm sure I'll never work in NYC as a fashion editor, but I will have these memories with my kids forever. Starting today, the complaints will stop. We made the choice so I need to roll with it.
No matter what kind of mom you are: stay at home mom, working mom, sharing custody mom... water your grass and be proud of it. It's yours.
always,
astreia
