Confession: I never wanted to be a stay-at-home mom

When I was younger, I didn't dream of being a mommy. I thought I would either be a famous TV personality or working in New York in the fashion industry. At a young age I was pretty career and money driven. My family always said, "Do good in school, go to college, then get a good job so you can make a lot of money." Not everything went according to my plan. I had my eye on the prize of being a career woman until I met Jesse in 2002. Once we were married in 2005, I accepted that God had his own plans, and realized my life had another purpose (and unfortunately, that purpose was not to be Oprah's replacement).

Even after Jackson was born, I went back to work, with the idea that I would be the working mom. Once we found out we were having twins, the game totally changed. How could I go back to work and afford daycare for THREE kids? My co-workers were pretty certain I wouldn't be returning after maternity leave, although I was sure Jesse and I would figure something out. I never pictured myself as the stay at home mom. 

Never. 

Breadwinner? Sure! 
Working mom? I'm on it! 
Stay at home mom? You must be crazy.

I had a chat with a friend last month, right before Easter, I think, and it got me thinking about working moms. I asked her how her job was going and I was secretly hoping she would say it's fabulous so I could live vicariously through her. To my surprise, she said, "It's okay, but I'm quitting in 2 weeks".

"Wait... What?"

She said that she honestly isn't making that much money once you factor in daycare and gas. Plus, her schedule is crazy because she has to get the kids up early, which isn't easy, and rush them to daycare in order to get to work on time. In the evenings, there's hardly any time for playing or relaxing with the kids because you have to feed them, bathe them and get them to bed at a reasonable time. On top of that, she's exhausted. 

Now my wheels are turning.... working mom vs stay at home mom.... After examining my own life, I was certain the working mom path would be way more exciting and fulfilling. The twins start pre-K next year, so I will have a little more free time in the fall. I considered a part time job and then maybe branching out full time once all three kids were in elementary school. I have dreamed of this ever since the twins started walking! Finally! Back to work!

Confession: I complain... a lot! I complain how much the kids nag me all day all the time (have you read any of my previous posts???) I complain about never having time for myself. I complain about have little interaction with adults. I'm always complaining to my husband about our money situation. For 4 years, I have longed to contribute financially to the household consistently; Not just a couple photography jobs a month. A steady weekly or bi-weekly paycheck. However, I haven't seriously considered what I would be giving up once I got back in the workforce. Missing milestones, school events, or just the every day little victories the kids achieve. Now I'm confused. Which path should I take?

On the contrary, I can't imagine it's a walk in the park for working moms. I'm sure it's struggle to balance work life and home life, especially if you are in a job you love or a job you need. Dealing with daycare, drama on the job and having to miss work if a child gets sick. At the end of the day, each mom has to make the choice to do whatever is best for her family, whether that means working outside of the home, having her own business, or staying home. 

If the shoe was on the other foot, and I was working, I would probably be wishing I could stay at home. I guess that's the whole "the grass is greener on the other side" syndrome. A wise person once said (or maybe it was Justin Bieber) "the grass is greener where you water it". Some days (weeks) are tough with a traveling husband, a seven year old, twins, homeschool, laundry etc. However, God gave us these kids and I'm beyond blessed to be able to stay home with them and to be apart of the everyday little things. I may not have a brand new van or a designer handbag, and I'm sure I'll never work in NYC as a fashion editor, but I will have these memories with my kids forever. Starting today, the complaints will stop. We made the choice so I need to roll with it. 

No matter what kind of mom you are: stay at home mom, working mom, sharing custody mom... water your grass and be proud of it. It's yours.

always,
astreia

Veggetti!

This afternoon, I went to my local CVS to find this baby and I was so happy they had it! I posted the picture on my personal facebook page and I couldn't believe how many people knew what this was. Honestly, I hadn't heard of this thing until Sunday. Since there are a few folks who want to see how my meal turned out, I thought I'd tell you how I have come to know, and now love, my Veggetti.

I am a member of this rad yoga studio called Yogabar in Jacksonville. Every so often they have date nights, mommy and me classes, workshops and other events. This past Sunday, I went to a Clean Eating Workshop hosted by blogger Alesha Haley. Alesha is a local graphic designer and mom and her blog is called Made With Love. You can follow her on Facebook here or click this link to subscribe to her blog. Let me tell you, this girl is way cool. I tried clean eating in 2011 after we moved to Saint Augustine, but after 9 months or so, I fell off the wagon. This workshop reminded me what I love about clean eating and inspired me to try again. We heard Alesha's story and her weight loss success from clean eating. We tasted some yummy samples, discussed what it means to eat clean, and at the end, there was a raffle. One of the raffle items was the Veggetti. Never heard of it, and it kinda sounded obscene, but after I saw how it worked, I had to have it in my life.

That brings us to today. Found it, bought it, but didn't have a clear picture on what I was going to make with it. I figured I would start small and only make something for myself as to not gross out the kids. I modified one of Alesha's recipes and was surprised at how much I had on hand. About two handfuls of frozen shrimp (10-15), a can of artichoke hearts, spinach, garlic and my zoodles (zucchini noodles). I sautéed the zoodles with coconut oil and garlic for about 8 minutes. Sauteed the shrimp with a bit of coconut oil and lemon. Sauteed the spinach and artichoke hearts with salt, pepper and a dash of olive oil. When everything was finished, I threw it all in a bowl and said a prayer.

Wow, oh, wow! That junk was amazing!

zoodles with coconut oil

shrimp

my new best friends: garlic press and veggetti

all finished!

so yummy

 My overall thoughts? Love it! Go get one! It's only $15 bucks. It will change your life :)

always,

astreia

New Easter Traditions

At Bible study this week, we all went around the room to talk about what Easter traditions we remember from our childhood and what traditions have started with our little ones. The question made me squirm a bit, because my husband and I haven't really established any. Growing up, my mom didn't take us to church on Easter. We grew up going to church, but not on those two days. She explained it's because too many other people decide to go to church only on those two days of the year (a term I have heard around my community as "Creasters": people who only go to church on Christmas and Easter). My mom didn't like the idea that folks were so much into the materialistic side of it (new Easter dress, Easter shoes, Easter pocketbook) but they weren't as concerned about what it really meant. For most of our holidays, we focused on gathering the family together at my Grandmomma's house and eating. Good food was always the center of our holiday celebrations.

As the question made it's way around the table, I just said what was on my heart. No, I don't remember too many different traditions, but Jesse and I were working on what we wanted to introduce. Over the past couple years, we have had an egg hunt in our community (something super small organized by a few moms) and it was always a week or two before Easter Sunday. Growing up, my family didn't emphasis the Easter bunny or have him bring us Easter baskets, so that's something we haven't introduced to our kids. Call me crazy, but I want my kids to understand the true meaning behind Easter and Christmas, which is about our Lord and Savior. I don't want them to miss out on the fun, however, so we are trying to differentiate between what represents Spring (bunnies, eggs, and new life) and what represents the Resurrection of Christ. It's just the same with Christmas; Santa is a representation of the season, but the reason we celebrate Christmas is the celebrate the birth of Jesus.

On a side note, my kids watched the movie "The Rise of the Guardians" last year, and it may have derailed our teaching a bit. If you haven't seen it, the basic plot is about the "Guardians" of children (the Easter bunny, the tooth fairy, the sandman, Santa Claus and Jack Frost) and how their existence is being threatened because kids don't believe in them. It was a cute movie, but totally confused my kids. "Mommy, I thought you said Santa wasn't real." To which I asked him, "Baby, what do you think?" He said, "I think he's real Mommy".

"Let's just go with that, then."

All this to say, we are still a work in progress on establishing traditions and what we and what our children believe.

This morning, we made an Easter treat that some of the ladies from Bible study recommended. Empty Tomb Rolls! They were delicious and super easy. Here is the recipe I used along with some pictures of how we put them together.  The idea is that the marshmallow represents Jesus' body. The oil and cinnamon and sugar represent the spices that were used to prepare his body for burial and the dough represents the tomb. After baking, the marshmallow melts and the roll is empty! Pretty clever and they were a huge success!

***My only warning is to watch your marshmallow. I used the big and fluffy (not jumbo) and in hindsight, I probably should have used smaller ones or used more dough. As they baked, the marshmallow kind of exploded out of it and dripped onto the bottom of the oven. Just a word to the wise to look out for that so there's no mess***

Have a Happy Easter everyone!

always,
astreia

My kids are at that age...

I love my kids. But right now, they are at that age where they ask me a gazillion questions a minute!

"Mommy, what do you think that truck is doing over there?"

"Mommy, can we watch a kids show?"

"When are we going to die?"

"Mommy, was that a Kenworth truck?"

"Mommy, is it time for you to buy me a new dress?"

"Mommy, when can we go to Miss Amanda's house (or any other person's house we have ever been to) again?"

"Mommy? When are we going to pick up Jackson?" That question is asked every day Jackson is in school

"Is it a school day?"

"What are we going to do today? Is it a homeschool day or a kids yoga day?"

"Are we going to kids yoga?" Same kid who asked the question above, asked this one just seconds later.

"Mommy, can I have a napkin? Can I have more almond milk? Mommy, can I please be excused?"

Those questions were asked all in the same breath by the same kid.

"Mommy, when will I get big like Daddy?"

"Who am I going to marry?"

"Mommy, why do the boys get to urinate in the bushes and I don't?"

"When will G-Ma come to live with us?"

"Mommy, what are we having to drink? Mommy? What are we having to drink? Mommy?"

"Mommy, will I get kidney stones!?" My goodness, boy! You are only 6! Don't worry about kidney stones!

"When are going to get a dog?"

"May I please have some trail mix? But I don't want to eat the Craisins!"

"Mommy, when are you going to get your rice out of the microwave? It's ready!!!"

He asked me that question right at this moment.

If I sat and recorded the sheer volume of questions from my three children, I could probably fill up an entire book. Studies show that children who ask a lot of questions are bright and intelligent, and I think that's true. I remember when we only had one child and my husband and I could tag team him and his questions. But it got tiring and I wasn't creative enough to keep coming up with clever answers on the fly. So we decided to have more kids so they would ask each other and not us. So far, that isn't working. In some cases, I have tried to flip the script and turn it back on them. "Well, what do YOU think we are going to do today?" Then they get an attitude! "I don't KNOW Mommy. That's why I asked you!"

At what age does the question and answer game end? Yes, that's another question.

*microwave beeps*

"Mommmmmieeeee? When are you gonna get your rice?"

Ugh.

always,
astreia

My girl

"And though she be but little, she is fierce" - William Shakespeare

Being a mom is tough. I love it, but it is, by far, the hardest "job" I have ever had. I'm blessed to have the experience of raising boys and a girl, and I gotta tell you... Raising MY girl is a challenge. She is so much like me! Moms, I know you can relate. Did your mom ever say to you when you were younger, "I hope you have a girl and I hope she is just like you!"? No one? Just my mom? Oh, I see.

My mom gets a kick out of the relationship I have with my girl. She tries to be supportive but deep down inside,  I know she's laughing at me. My girl is stubborn, strong willed, hard headed and is fussy about her fashion. She is a carbon copy of ME!!! You would think I can handle someone who is just like me, right? WRONG. She keeps me on my toes, tests my patience and raises my blood pressure on a daily basis. She can sometimes be mean to her brothers to get her way, she has her daddy wrapped around her finger, and she has more clothes in her closet than I do!

Little girl. Little girl.

But on the other hand, she is a gorgeous young lady. Her hair is the type that people pay good money for. Her eyes sparkle when she smiles. She is very caring when one of us is hurt or sad. She has a fantastic imagination and she likes to draw... just like her momma. I have caught her staring at me when I'm singing in the van or when I'm getting dressed to go out. She asks me what my favorite shoes are and she tells me I'm pretty when I wear a dress. She wants to work out with me and brush my hair. If she doesn't get a hug and kiss at bedtime, she cries. At night, when we say our prayers, she thanks God for her family.

Little girl. Little girl.

Yes, it's hard. Yes, she frustrates me at times. But I wouldn't trade her for the world.

Moms of little girls, I know you can relate. Your little girl is probably just like you and you are just like your mom; smart, strong, fierce and fiery. Now when I hang my head in my hands over something my girl has said or done, I just remember one day she may have a little girl that will be just like her... Just like me.... and that's a beautiful thing :)

always,
astreia

More isn't more.... Less is more

A friend of mine posted an article on Facebook yesterday {Thanks Jenn!} and it really speaks to what my husband I want for our kids. The area we currently live in, it seems that more is definitely more. We live in a community with million dollar homes, kids in the household each have their own iPads, iPhones, electric scooters and more toys and shoes than we ever had growing up. Have you been to a child's birthday party lately? They are much bigger now than the ones we had back in the day.

I have to admit, I have been sucked into that way of thinking as well. It seemed like a simple idea, or so I thought. Just the idea to give our kids more than we had and to live in a house or a community that is bigger and better than we had growing up. We have had birthday parties for our kids with bounce houses and mountains of gifts and decorations and goodie bags. I am totally guilty of buying clothes and shoes in excess for them, even when I know the clothes and shoes in their closets are more than sufficient.

In hindsight though, my husband and I turned out fine with less. We appreciated things more because we had less and that's something that many kids these days (in my opinion) are lacking. We worked harder to earn things because they weren't handed to us when we were young . Birthday parties included your immediate family and maybe a cousin or two; a homemade cake from a box and one or two gifts and cards. And you know what? It was more than enough.

Lots of changes are coming our way this year, and as we embark on this next chapter of our lives, our focus will be more on quality rather than quantity. Please enjoy this story from House to Home.

https://thishouseisourhome.wordpress.com/2015/02/25/kids-arent-expensive-but-that-other-thing-sure-is/

Ready to take on 2015

Happy New Year from the Bauers!

Happy New Year, friends!

Yes, I know it's 20 days into the new year... better late than never right???

2014 was a whirlwind of a year. Between photography, kids, traveling, homeschooling and everything in between, my blog time suffered. Blogging is hard! Okay, I take that back... time management is hard. Finding the time to all my daily tasks and have time to relax, exercise, or spend time with friends and family was tough. I have so many plates in the air at any given time, one of them is bound to fall every now and then.

This year is all about balance. Learning to let go of the things I can't control, and making time for the things and people who are important to me. This year, I plan to focus more on kids and how to get a grip on this crazy life. I was tremendously hard on myself for the things I wasn't able to accomplish, the goals I didn't meet or for the things that didn't go as planned. A good friend told me that her motto this year is "roll with it" and I'm going to adopt that mantra as well. No matter what, count it all joy and roll with it.

Follow me on Facebook, Pinterest and my photography blog. You'll get some laughs out of it for sure!

Have a great week y'all!

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https://astreiabphotography.wordpress.com
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